Mr. Unavailable #87: Brief Adventures in Beantown

This is a Mr. Unavailable flashback circa late 2004/early 2005.

Vital Stats: Bostonian, 32, 5'10". Writer for financial company. Aesthetic: Post-collegiate Bostonian (jeans, checked button-down shirts under crew neck sweaters). Demeanor: He seemed shy at first.

First Impression: We met online via the Nerve.com dating site in the Fall of 2004. He would write long, descriptive missives about trips to 4H Fairs and the like. I liked the attention but it was also as if he could have been writing to anyone--or everyone--or as if he were practicing for his future memoir. We lost touch for a few months while I attempted to date #86 for the third time and he had his own on-again-off-again thing going on and then we got back in touch in the late Winter of 2005.

First Date: I had a work trip to Boston planned and took the train up. We arranged to meet for Ethiopian Food in Central Square in Cambridge and we got along so well we went for coffee afterward. At first, he seemed like a "nice" guy--slightly shy, slightly nerdy, but cute. I usually don't like guys who seem shy, since I tend toward shyness, but, since we'd been in touch for so long, I decided to focus on the positives.

Signs of Hope: A few weeks after our first date, he traveled to NYC for second date. We met for brunch at the Pink Pony, where, as soon as I walked in and saw him, I realized, "He's cute." I could tell that, in a black button-down--minus the sweater--he'd made some effort to look a little less collegiate, a little more city. After brunch, we went to a show at The International Center of Photography and then went for carrot cake at Mayrose Diner, which, at the time, had the best carrot cake in the city.

Red Flags: Even though it was to mention how immature she was, he mentioned his last girlfriend on the coffee portion of our first date. On our second date, he made a lame joke at the ICP about an unattractive guy who was perusing the exhibit being my boyfriend (i.e., "Heh, heh, there's your boyfriend."). He never even attempted to kiss me. Not once.

Turning Point: One night, he called and said he was talking to his ex-girlfriend again and was confused about what he was doing. Unable to quite let go, I said we could still keep in touch as friends, but, soon afterward, I met #88 and never bothered.

Diagnosis: For him: Most likely, he had never stopped talking to his ex-girlfriend. In fact, she was probably never an ex at all.
For me: I did the best with what I was given.