Mr. Unavailable #85: Boy Meets Girl, Disaster Ensues

This is a Mr. Unavailable Flashback circa 2003 through 2004

Vital Stats: 5'7", Age: 32/33, Semi-Employed Screenwriter, Aesthetic: Fully Funded, Semi-Employed Screenwriter, Demeanor: Self-Important Semi-Employed Screenwriter (Translation: Extremely Insecure with camouflage of false confidence; tortured). (In the screen version of this blog, this guy would be most accurately played by Seth Green.)

First Impression: It was less an impression than a gradual fade-in on my life between early 2003 and late 2004. He was energetic, flirtatious. He had one of the best self-descriptions ever: "I'm not actively short."

Background (in lieu of a clear First Date): Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy makes move, but girl, shocked, thinks they're just friends; boy and girl stop hanging out. Cut, Scene 2, Action: Boy and girl try to be friends again, girl realizes she likes boy, boy and girl try to date, boy can't do it. Cut, Scene 3, Action: Boy and girl start hanging out again, girl says she can't hang out just as friends and wants something more, boy says he can't do that, boy and girl end communication. Cut, Scene 4, Action: Boy sees girl at party, boy says he wants to date, boy and girl go on two dates spaced two weeks apart.

Signs of Hope: Boy said he wanted to date and carried through on two whole dates.

Red Flags: So many. In Scene Two, boy had something of a social/people/girl/commitment phobia and often resorted to the "Just Come Over" non-date date. During the real "dating" portion of the relationship, Scene Four, boy would call and yawn repeatedly, indicating he was not breathing properly, i.e, boy was extremely nervous/having a panic attack (illustrative comparison: Apolo Ohno yawning repeatedly immediately before going for Olympic gold).

Turning Point: Having had two dates spaced two weeks apart, girl called boy and told him "it wasn't going to work" unless they saw each other more. Boy said he'd think about it and then emailed girl the next day saying "it wasn't going to work" because he was too busy with work and life. Yes, in a plot twist, boy acted out the Reverse Dump. The critics would have given him a thumbs up on the performance, except because he emailed rather than called, blamed work rather than fessed up to being terrified, and then used exactly the same wording girl did, he got a thumbs down.

Diagnosis: For him: Boy was terminally unavailable.
For me: Girl was partially available.
Either way, this boy meets girl story long ago lost it's shot at a Hollywood ending.