Mr. Unavailable #104: The Lingerer

Vital Stats: 5'11"ish, 35, Small-Town Brit in the Big Apple, "A Creative" in Advertising, Self-Described Pseudo-Hippy (complete with hippy hair)

First Date: Mid-March 2010 via Match.com dating site. Four and a half long hours involving... brunch at Cafe Cluny in the West Village (was that Kayhan from "Queer Eye" that I saw?) ...then cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery...then milkshakes at Cafe Reggio...

First Impression: Goofy Brit (He looked much more 1960s-Rolling-Stone suave in his online photos.)

Signs of Hope: Conversation flowed...and flowed...and flowed...

Red Flags: He lingered over brunch, to the consternation of the wait staff and myself. He indicated he'd get the check if I'd spring for sweets, so I tried to think of a quick-sweet place and came up with Magnolia, where the line was mercifully short. The only problem was that New York City was experiencing the Great Four-Day Downpour of 2010 and there was nowhere to eat the cupcakes. I suggested Starbucks, he suggested Cafe Reggio...another place with sit-down service and an order requirement. Whereas I sucked down my milkshake in the first 15 minutes, he lingered over his for an hour and a half. And then he had no cash, so I had to spring for vittles and date-time I never wanted (He did offer to go to an ATM, but I envisioned that taking another hour.) Also: I like a little goofy in a guy, but he was a little too goofy for me.

Turning Point: If the date had ended sometime before Cafe Reggio (the three-hour mark), I might have entertained the idea of a second one, but he began suggesting he would take a sick day very soon and we could hang out together. The prospect of another four and a half hourer--or longer--sickened me, and it wasn't just the cupcake/milkshake sugar high talking. After the date, he texted me to say he had fun and I emailed him to tell him that, for me, there was no spark. He replied with a message incorporating the lyrics to the Springsteen fave Dancing in the Dark (i.e., "You can't start a fire without a spark."). It went beyond goofy to truly bizarre.

Diagnosis: Likely available for a lingeringly bizarre relationship