Mr. Unavailable #92: The Best Man

This is a Mr. Unavailable flashback circa 2008.

Vital Stats: My brother's best friend. Younger than me by ten years and a day (it's the one day that kills me). Fit, like someone who is ten years younger. Surfer; 5'7"ish. Income via work as a sommelier.

First Impression: We met at my family's family reunion on Cape Cod in 2006. I was grumpy after an eight-hour Peter Pan bus ride, walked across the lawn, passing all of my cousins who were with their significant others, strolled up to my brother and his girlfriend, where they sat on their picnic blanket with some guy I'd never seen before, and said, "What the fuck? Does everyone here have a boyfriend or girlfriend except me this year?" Then the guy I'd never seen before said, "I'm game." Yes, #92.

Signs of Hope: Summer 2007: I hadn't considered him as an option in 2006, and I have no idea why, but in the summer of 2007, all that changed when I went home again for the annual family reunion. Our stays only overlapped for about two hours, but sitting out on the porch in the dark talking with him and my cousins, I developed an InstaCrush. And then he was gone.

Summer 2008: He was the best man and I was the maid of honor at my brothers wedding. From the moment I got there, the chemistry was palpable. The first night, we stayed up late out under the wedding tent. For some reason, I was doing running leaps across the stage and he was catching me. A post-leap hook-up may have been in the cards but something stopped me.

The next night was the wedding. Again, a post-wedding hook-up might have been in the cards, but he passed out from a massive intake of red wine and had to be carried to bed. I was meant to leave the next day but came close to staying an extra day to go surfing with him. Sadly, I determined I should get back to NYC for a job that I hated and later quit. (Please learn from my mistake.)

Autumn 2008: He sent me a message on whatever the most popular social networking site was at the time saying he was thinking of coming to NYC. He never did.

Red Flags: He lived in Boston, I lived in NYC. We saw each other once a year. Oh, and that pesky 10-year (and a day) age difference.

Turning Point: I'm still waiting for it.

Diagnosis: Separated by geography and age, "it" remains unrequited.

Update: And, sadly, it will always remain unrequited. The turning point has arrived: I recently saw #92's relationship status on Facebook: Engaged. This saddens me. I looked up the object of his engagement and she's really pretty, which actually makes me feel a little better.

If you're wondering, the general rules of relationship jealousy go like this:

• If it's a guy you've never gotten together with, it's best if his past and future love interests are pretty, because that means you're pretty, too.
• If it's someone you've been with, it's best if all of his past and future girlfriends (or fiancees) are less pretty than you, because that means he'll never have it better than you.

At least this means I'm pretty.