Mr. Unavailable #111: Meeting the Friends, Part 2

See Could it Be?, It's Not Him, It's Me, The Recovery, We're Just Not That Into Each Other, The Continuation, The Curse is Broken, Unfortunately, The Make-Up Date, The Phone Call, The Negotiation, Dates 9 Through 12, Dates 13 Through 15, The Public Sex Talk, Bridging the Chasm, The Shut Down and All Kinds of Good for the background on this one.

Pre-Date: In the days before our next date, we would talk on the phone and I noticed the best conversations happened when I called him late from work. I'm not sure if it was my secret thrill at calling on the sly that was infectious or what, but they were great conversations. During one, he mentioned our upcoming Hamptons trip and told me he makes really good scrambled eggs but was worried that was all we'd be eating all weekend.

Date #20 (a Saturday in August): We arranged to meet at Le Petite Abeille in the West Village. He was running late and two bohemian old men struck up a conversation with me at the tables out front. One was a poet, the other a fiction writer of some sort. They told me they thought I was Russian at first. Appreciative of being mistaken for Russian, I encouraged conversation. We were talking about some poet or other and I was laughing when #111 walked up. Looking "intense," as usual, he seemed perturbed somehow and when he went to kiss me said, "Why are you laughing?" I said I was just talking to the two men. No doubt intimidated by #111's less-than-friendly demeanor, the two men turned back to talk to each other.

We ended up having a lovely Belgian dinner--hamburgers, sausages and mash--and then walked over the The Rusty Knot to meet #111's friends from his grad school program. Everyone was incredibly nice, but also incredibly young. Most of them were in their twenties and generally had the joix de vivre (um, how do I say "immaturity" nicely?) to match, so I felt a little out of my element (To explain: I can be as goofy as the next person but this was a little much).

Otherwise, adding to the "festive" atmosphere, #111 was keen to take pictures. It was funny to see him pose for a photo. He was normally very stoic in an effort to maintain his "intense" look, so it was interesting to see him prepare for a photo. He would suddenly strike a pose--complete with a broad, engaging and very real smile. Naturally, I teased him about it.

I have to admit I was having another out-of-body experience, but after the last one, I knew enough not to let on. I was thrilled that he was introducing me to his friends. Clearly, I was his. And clearly, he wanted photos of us because he would throw his arm around me, hold up his camera and take us-portraits.

We went for dessert at Rocco's after and the energy was different than other times we'd been there. Maybe it was emotional for both of us to meet the friends. Maybe he was feeling a little freaked this time, like I was last time. He stayed over and the next morning, as we were getting ready for breakfast at Remedy and I put on another little sundress, he said, "How many cute little dresses do you have?" I said I was getting to the end of the repertoire but there would be a whole new array in the winter. He seemed to like that.

After Remedy, we went to the Otto Dix exhibit at the Neue Gallerie and then walked through Central Park to Cafe Edgar (I know this is slightly off-topic, but I recommend the marzipan dessert). I had accidentally teased him about his acting days (I was seriously encouraging him to get back into it but it somehow came across as teasing him) on the walk to the park and then quickly regretted it as he seemed annoyed. I apologized. He said he was just giving me a hard time, but as we sat in Edgar and I felt yet another chasm opening, I said, "Are you really annoyed?" And he said, somewhat shortly, "If I was, I wouldn't have taken you here." They were assuring words that did not lend any feeling of assurance. He mentioned our upcoming weekend away and mentioned renting a car. Fingers crossed that that means he'll look into it.

Red Flags: His friends are really, really young. Also, at one point, #111 pointed out a guy and told me he was a jerk (or some other name I can't remember) but then later seemed keen to engage in futile literary debates with the guy, who he didn't respect and would never agree with. It seemed like an exercise not only in futility but also in posturing--an effort to show who knew more about the quirks of a certain writer or other. Or something. I just stood there, internally rolling my eyes. On the way out, the guy he had been debating with said quietly to me, "Watch out for that guy." It was a warning I didn't feel like I should entirely ignore.

Diagnosis: For him: I can't read him. Even though he says he's not annoyed, he still acts annoyed and distant.
For me: Perhaps I should take a moment to explain something. I haven't had a guy this into me in five years--and even then the guy was far too afraid to bring me out and show me around--actually, I don't think he even had anyone to show me around to, so you have to understand, being taken to meet #111's friends was thrilling. But his moodiness is daunting. One night, late, talking on the phone with Kevin, I expressed my displeasure, but ultimately came to this kind of conclusion: "But I don't want it to end because I don't know when the next guy that I'm crazy about like this will come along." Hello, rock? Meet self-inflicted hard place.