Mr. Unavailable #111: Could It Be?

Vital Stats: 5'10". 44. Writing instructor at a NYC college. Aesthetic: That hot professor you had in college. Demeanor: Gentleman from Jersey.

First Date: Met via OKCupid Dating site. Date Location: Cafe Pick Me Up, Thompkins Square Park, June 2010. An intensely steamy pre-summer Saturday.

First Impression: Via email, we were completely in sync humor-wise. His profile mentioned that people often said he looked intense, so when I walked up to him, I noticed he indeed looked intense. It actually read as more nervous or deep in thought than anything else. He definitely seemed anxious at first, which always puts me at ease. Also, since he is a writer, and seemed quite intelligent over email, I imagined he would be more of a tortured, metrosexual artist type, but, in reality, one look at his arms, pressed shirt and generally groomed appearance told me that "manly" qualifies here. YAY and FINALLY.

Signs of Hope: So, so many. He acted quickly to move the date from online to the real world, was open to day and time, traveled down to my neighborhood (all the way from Harlem) and picked a place he knew I would like. He also got there early and texted me saying he was inside (avoiding the potentially date-destroying Inside/Outside Meetup Snafu). We swapped ideas for future cafes and inventions, traded travel stories, admitted faults and laughed over human frailty. We also discovered that neither of our mothers could cook.

We were still sitting there ages after our iced coffees had watered themselves down and been drained. Finally, after three hours, I said I was fading and should go. It's true that I was tired, but I also realized I was really liking him, which was making me more nervous and causing me to feel like I needed to impress him, which is never good. He immediately said he'd grab the check, which told me I didn't even need to offer (relief!) and then he asked if he could walk me home. At my front door, our eyes locked for a few chaste kisses. It could have gone further, but it was clear he was letting me make the decisions. Yes, ladies, there are a few gentlemen left out there.

Red Flags: He mentioned past girlfriends and his "ex" multiple times. The context was innocent enough but there were numerous mentions. Later I realized that the differentiation between former girlfriends and a specific "ex" might mean the latter is really a former wife. If that's the case, and he was married, then he actually did a pretty good job of not mentioning her. ALSO: In the Light Pink Flag department, he had a habit of chuckling at his own stories--in the manner of making a theatrical aside--before he even told them. Something about it seemed a touch affected. Then again, it could easily be a Jersey-bred mannerism. Oh, and he vaguely reminded me of my older brother, but let's not think about that.

Turning Point: I wasn't sure if he was going to go straight to the unavailable bin (categorized as "Too Good to be True"), but 14 hours after the date, he emailed me to say that he had a lot of fun and would love to spend more time with me if I was so inclined. Could it be? A Mr. Available I'm actually attracted to?...

Diagnosis: ...Only time will tell. Stay tuned for Date #2.