Mr. Unavailable #85: Boy Meets Girl, Disaster Ensues

This is a Mr. Unavailable Flashback circa 2003 through 2004

Vital Stats: 5'7", Age: 32/33, Semi-Employed Screenwriter, Aesthetic: Fully Funded, Semi-Employed Screenwriter, Demeanor: Self-Important Semi-Employed Screenwriter (Translation: Extremely Insecure with camouflage of false confidence; tortured). (In the screen version of this blog, this guy would be most accurately played by Seth Green.)

First Impression: It was less an impression than a gradual fade-in on my life between early 2003 and late 2004. He was energetic, flirtatious. He had one of the best self-descriptions ever: "I'm not actively short."

Background (in lieu of a clear First Date): Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy makes move, but girl, shocked, thinks they're just friends; boy and girl stop hanging out. Cut, Scene 2, Action: Boy and girl try to be friends again, girl realizes she likes boy, boy and girl try to date, boy can't do it. Cut, Scene 3, Action: Boy and girl start hanging out again, girl says she can't hang out just as friends and wants something more, boy says he can't do that, boy and girl end communication. Cut, Scene 4, Action: Boy sees girl at party, boy says he wants to date, boy and girl go on two dates spaced two weeks apart.

Signs of Hope: Boy said he wanted to date and carried through on two whole dates.

Red Flags: So many. In Scene Two, boy had something of a social/people/girl/commitment phobia and often resorted to the "Just Come Over" non-date date. During the real "dating" portion of the relationship, Scene Four, boy would call and yawn repeatedly, indicating he was not breathing properly, i.e, boy was extremely nervous/having a panic attack (illustrative comparison: Apolo Ohno yawning repeatedly immediately before going for Olympic gold).

Turning Point: Having had two dates spaced two weeks apart, girl called boy and told him "it wasn't going to work" unless they saw each other more. Boy said he'd think about it and then emailed girl the next day saying "it wasn't going to work" because he was too busy with work and life. Yes, in a plot twist, boy acted out the Reverse Dump. The critics would have given him a thumbs up on the performance, except because he emailed rather than called, blamed work rather than fessed up to being terrified, and then used exactly the same wording girl did, he got a thumbs down.

Diagnosis: For him: Boy was terminally unavailable.
For me: Girl was partially available.
Either way, this boy meets girl story long ago lost it's shot at a Hollywood ending.

Mr. Unavailable #100: Down the Rabbit Hole

See The Downtown Hipster, The Way to a Girl's Heart, Momma's Boy, Update and Revisited for the background on this one.

This is where it either all starts to go horribly wrong (but looks like it's going terrifically right) and I get sucked in or this is where I discover I've totally misjudged this guy. Only time will tell. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm already sucked in.

The Fourth Date: We'd agreed to go for dessert at The Algonquin Hotel. He texted me earlier in the day to make sure we were still on for the evening and then surprised me by calling me and saying he'd pick me up in a cab--and acting quite nonchalant about it. When I first got in the cab, my first thought was to realize that this(?) was the guy I was all worked up about for a week? Seeing him made me think, "He's just a guy." Not in a bad way, just in a realistic way. My second thought was to realize that there was a bit of awkwardness in the cab--more on the "who are you and what are we doing" distance side of the spectrum than the "I'm so excited to see you" excited side of the spectrum. All that changed as we got a little cozier in the backseat.

At The Algonquin, we talked for two hours over a bit of chocolate cake as if we were old friends with terrible memories. I paid, since I'd invited him out, after all. And then he invited me back to his place to "watch the Olympics." After we spent some time not really watching the Olympics, I asked if he'd walk me home and he balked, but agreed to walk me downstairs and get me a cab. When we got downstairs I realized I was about three blocks from my apartment, so I said I'd just walk. "It's fine," I said. He said, "OK, let's go," and even though he was just in a sweater and it was snowing a little, he walked me home.

Diagnosis: For him: With mild prodding, he's definitely got potential.
For me: I don't think I've ever felt more comfortable on a date--with someone I was actually interested in. I've also developed a newfound fondness for the winter Olympics.

One of four things may happen (rated on a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being unlikely and 5 being likely):

1. I'll never hear from him again (2)
2. He'll text me in a couple of days (4)
3. He'll call me (2)
4. I'll break down again and text him in a week (3, no, 2, although 1 would be more respectable)

Stay tuned...

Next in the #100 series: The Sound of Silence