Mr. Unavailable #103: Inked and Off-White

Vital Stats: 5'11", 36, Tattoo artist recently relocated from San Diego. Aesthetic: Spruced-up post-grunge with an Army jacket and baggy-ish trousers. Demeanor: Intelligent, understated low-talker.

First Date: We met via the OKCupid dating site, March 2010, and agreed to meet at Think Coffee on Bleecker and Bowery in the East Village.

First Impression: From what I could see, he was covered in aged-green tattoos (except for fingernails, one palm and most of his face--but not all). And he was extremely considerate. He bought me a hot chocolate, sat down and said, "First, I just wanted to thank you for meeting me." (Um, wow.)

At another point, he stopped the conversation and said we should talk about me for a while, so we did. He displayed a level of patience foreign to Manhattan and its environs; it turned out he'd only moved to New York recently from San Diego. He chose his words carefully, clarifying that he didn't move to New York for a girl, he moved to New York and there was a girl; he said his bedroom was urban-male "off-white" not suburban-mom "beige."

Signs of Hope: At no point did I think it would work out, but I thought maybe we could be friends. It was all very friendly. Otherwise, we were in agreement about the horribleness of the coffee shop artwork and he admitted to being an art snob but said he wouldn't elaborate because he was trying to make a good first impression.

Red Flags: The flags were more pink than red: For example, he'd take a sip of water and then, covering his mouth with his hand, swish it around like mouthwash. I picked up on a vague OCD pertaining to cleanliness when he described his living conditions and no-pet preference. He exhibited a possibly sarcastic, old-man shuffle when walking between the closely spaced cafe tables (he was perhaps best described as understated weird).

Turning Point: I was thinking that maybe we could be friends but then got a text from him soon after the date that said, in part, "...hopefully our paths will cross again."

Diagnosis: He's possibly a relationship guy but not my relationship guy.

Mr. Unavailable #101: 49 Going on 19

Vital Stats: 49, Unemployed Screenwriter/Producer, Upper West Sider with L.A. Time, Aesthetic: Non-descript. Demeanor: He seemed nice enough, but was generally just kind of blah.

First Date: We met via the OKCupid dating site and agreed to get together on a Friday evening for coffee at Think Coffee on Bowery and Bleecker. Late February 2010.

First Impression: When I got there and sat down he was already settled in with a coffee, and when I got up to get something, he said, "Oh, I should have offered to get you something" and then continued to sit there. He seemed slightly depressed with a mild victim complex when talking about past work experience and his parents. He also seemed preoccupied with money and wanting to convey his lack of it despite the fact that he'd just put down a deposit on an apartment on the Upper West Side.

Signs of Hope: When I walked in, he looked just like his photos: tall, slightly pudgy with dark curly hair and not as old-looking as his 49 years.

Red Flags: Everything after I sat down.

Turning Point: When I had to get my own coffee even though he said he should get it.

Diagnosis: Even though he was 49, his chances of becoming an adult were slim.