Mr. Unavailable #109: This Charming Man

Vital Stats: Formerly known as "My New Crush," he has, sadly, earned a number. Early to mid 40s, English with a Green Card. Aesthetic: British Dandy-like Rockabilly. Demeanor: So damn cool.

First Impression: Too damn cool for me.

Signs of Hope: Well, it began many months ago. OK, two months ago...three max. I guess you could say I started it. I was practicing being more "open" and decided to just talk to him without my usual self-conscious hang-ups. And--lookity-look--he was game. One could say we'd become friends. We'd giggle together in groups, make jokes at each others' expense. Generally, at parties, we'd always find a way to interact. Even just the other night I said giddily to a friend (and I think this helps show that very little about male-female interest changes between kindergarten and the mid-life crisis): "He teases me constantly. I just love him." When we would say hello or good-bye he'd go out of his way to kiss my cheek or hold my hand just a little bit longer. Meltworthily charming.

Then, just two nights ago at a party, I was talking to another guy friend about dating and #35 walked up. I told him what we were talking about and, when my guy friend walked away, #35 hooked on to the idea that I was dating my guy friend and became very distant--seriously, he was looking off into the distance. I found a way to change the subject (i.e., "Look at my shiny new watch."), but his reaction seemed flatteringly transparent.

Red Flags: I can't say I wasn't warned: See section toward bottom referring to "dodgy bicoastal situation based on green card needs."

Turning Point: So, last night, I went to his show and went up to him after to say hello. He was chilly, so I slunk away. An hour later when I went to leave he was in my leaving path. He gave me a good-bye kiss and a big squeeze on the arm and said, "Thanks so much for coming, where are you headed?" Huh?

And then tonight, I ran into him and he asked if I wanted to go eat with him and some friends. I went. He was fidgety the whole time and then, toward the end, he suddenly had to go and left. Double huh? The distance--oh, the distance. It's the classic Mr. Unavailable sign: The old hot-and-cold.

Diagnosis: He's got some of The Runner in him. I get the feeling that he can go so far as to dip a foot in the water but then he quickly finds that it's too cold--or, more accurately, too hot. So, it's true. For now, anyway, he's too damn cool for me.