Mr. Unavailable #133: "Recriminations Flared" and Other Melodramatic Phrases

See The Telltale Garb, The Sit-Com Setup, The Lukewarm Fuzzies, Little Island..., Coffee=The End? and Well Done for the background on this one.

Little did I know that telling #133 I never wanted to hear from him again wouldn't mean I would never hear from him again. “He’ll be back,” Eva predicted. “He likes the drama too much.”

A little part of me was excited at the prospect of drama. Being pursued. Triangulation. Maybe he’d choose me over his ex. Maybe I’d win. But, really, what was there to win? The idea of competition excited me more than the prospect of actually having him. I didn’t want him. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

Five days later it arrived. A letter. In the mail. He had my email address and my phone number, but, for someone like #133, the drama of a letter just makes sense. I opened the envelope to find yet another envelope. On the inner envelope, #133 had scratched a note:

“Tara – I tried to deliver this to your apt but never managed to get in. So I decided to mail it. –[#133]”

I feel another numbered list coming on…but, for now, drum roll please, the contents of the letter (imagine the words in scratchy cursive, if you will):

Dear Tara,

I want to apologize for the phone call I gave you last night. It was not the way I wanted to discuss the situation with you. Foremost, I want you to know that my ex was not in earshot of our conversation. I think it seemed as if she were. I did call you because of her, to prove that I was telling the truth: that I was dating a woman named Tara, and that we had not been intimate yet.

Just because you deserve to know the situation which led to that unfair phone call: My ex and I had a tumultuous break-up, and then recently we re-connected, talked, and agreed to talk some more—on Wednesday, in fact.

My first thought was that I should tell all to you. My next thought was, I’m seeing the ex in one more day and we’re going to work things out, or not work them out. So I decided to hold off on making any rash decisions. At the same time, I knew that I shouldn’t move my relationship with you to the next level with all this hanging over our heads.

Then last night, recriminations flared and I acted rashly. I’m sorry for that, but please know that I was not in front of her at the time.

Lastly, I want to express the truth that you are the sweetest, most fun, and prettiest date I’ve been on since my break-up—actually, you were the only person I found a connection with and went on a 2nd date.

The fact that you are so great, and I wound up being an ass at the end when I distinctly had had your feelings, and respect for you, in mind before I fucked it up, vexes me.

Thank you for all the fun we had, and for being so sweet, interesting and beautiful. Please know that I’m very sorry for acting like an ass at the end, when you deserved so much better.

Sincerely,
[#133]

P.S. Apologies for the hand-writing. I can’t do any better.

For five days, I'd done a good job of getting through the post-phone-call hurt, but, after reading the letter, everything stirred back up.
We need another numbered list:
1. I said I never wanted to hear from him again. This was hearing from him again.
2. An email would have been sufficient.
3. Similarly, a simple apology would have sufficed. I didn’t need to know the details of why he did what he did. Part of me thinks he wrote it just so he could use passive but dramatic phrases like, “Recriminations flared.”
4. I also didn’t need to know he tried to hand-deliver it. Was it so that I would think he was such a great guy? Too late.
5. “First,” he said, “she wasn’t in earshot”? Does he even hear what he’s saying? It doesn’t matter where the hell she was, he made the phone call.
6. How would calling me prove anything? I could lie, he could lie to her about what I was saying. It made no sense.
7. Because it made no sense, here’s what the phone call was really about: They got drunk, started fighting and then the real meaning behind the ex saying “Call her to prove it” was this: “If you call her and hurt her, you’re getting rid of my competition for good and proving your love for me.” But, like Eva said, that’s not love.
8. With four years of breaking up and getting back together, the amount of drama they will need to fuel their “relationship” will only get higher—bringing in third parties is just one way to do it.
9. Let’s just hope they never get married.
10. Or have kids.

And, most importantly:
11. All the nice things he said about me are 100% true.

Postscript: Even that was not the last of him. The day before Thanksgiving, he sent me a text: “Im sry 4 contacting u but im watching u on Casg Cab rt now. u look great.”

OK, so, I was on Cash Cab a few years ago and sometimes they rerun my episode, so he must have caught one. But here’s the thing: It’s a cable show and he doesn’t have cable, so he was probably watching it at his ex’s. That's just creepy.