See Sweet Virginia, The First Date and Just Desserts for the background on this one.
“What’s the plan, Stan?” I said.
“No plan,” he said.
I got ready and went down to the The Bean to meet him. He was standing out front and hugged me so that my feet lifted off the ground. He wanted to find vintage Cecil B. Demille sunglasses, so we wandered around the East Village in search of them. He seemed down, somehow. I couldn’t tell if it was the gray weather and low barometric pressure that was affecting him or if there was something really wrong.
We found a flea market and he talked about some of the jobs he was looking at. Still wondering if we would ever actually go to Nobu, I said as if to joke, “Well, I hope one of them works out great if we’re going to be having lunch at Nobu.”
“We’re not going to be having lunch at Nobu,” he said. “It’s easily $65 a person just for lunch.”
Good-bye Nobu.
We gave up on the sunglasses and agreed that it would be a good idea to go for cake. “Where should we go?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “This is your town.”
And then it came to me. I started jumping up and down. “The Little Cupcake Shop,” I said. We crossed down into Soho and I led him to Prince and Elizabeth. We snagged a table by the window and each got a gigantic slice of cake. When he dug into his, the biggest smile spread over his face.
“This is the happiest I’ve seen you all day,” I said.
“Yeah, it seems like all these places want New York experience, but if you can’t get hired, you can’t get New York experience.”
“The perpetual Catch-22,” I said. Maybe that was why he seemed off all day. I thought it might have been me. Sometimes it's exhausting being so self-involved.
He reached out and touched me on the arm briefly.
His funny mood had unsettled me and, whether or not I was suffering from codependence, I needed reassurance. I wanted us to be alone somewhere, so I asked if he wanted to go watch a movie at my place. Zoe and I had it worked out that I’d text her if I was going back to the apartment and she’d stay away.
At my place, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He picked me up to take me to the bed. “You’re so good at that,” I said.
We rolled around for a while, losing articles of clothing, and I said, “I feel like a Calvin Klein ad.”
Things started to go a little farther than I wanted them to and I got nervous, and told him so, which only served to make him nervous. Plus, Zoe had been texting and calling, which certainly hadn’t helped to relax things, so I checked her messages in which she said she’d go get something to eat and stay out until she heard from me.
“Well, you’re hungry, too, why don’t we go eat with her?” #120 said.
I was alarmed. Did he not want to be alone with me anymore? It felt wrong somehow. Like we needed to talk about our nervousness and maybe even what, exactly, we were doing here.
Zoe came back and we went for Mexican. She had #120 and I sit across the table from each other so we could see each other, but it was a big table, so it only increased the chasm growing between us. I thought he seemed jumpy but wasn’t sure. Then he started talking about Zoe and he moving in together. He’d suggested it before and Jo had let it drop, but he brought it up again.
“That means that if you and I don’t work out,” he said, looking at me, “we’ll have to be friends.”
“Oh, you two will work out,” Zoe said. “Don’t be daft.”
I was fear-stricken. As soon as Zoe went to the bathroom, I bent my finger at him to beckon him closer. He leaned in as much as he could across the table. “Just for the record, I’d like this to work out,” I said.
“You didn’t like that at all,” he said.
I shook my head.
“OK, then we’ll work on it,” he said.
“We’re too far away,” I said and got up and sat next to him, kissing him. I still didn’t feel settled. He said he had to go home right after dinner. “To poop,” he said, because he didn’t like doing it in public and he didn’t want to do it at my place.
Outside, Zoe walked ahead and we kissed good-bye. I caught up to her and said, “Wasn’t he acting funny?”
“No, not at all. I actually like him even more. I think he’s just lovely,” she said.
“He seemed so distant,” I said.
“I didn’t think so at all,” she said.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Maybe I was just projecting. Because I’m currently a basketcase.”
Back at my place, since things had gone a bit off in the bedroom, Zoe suggested I text him.
I wrote: “I feel a bit weird about earlier. Do you? I think we need to get back in the sack as soon as possible. We were both nervous.”
He wrote back immediately: “Asap!”
“We’re not going to be having lunch at Nobu,” he said. “It’s easily $65 a person just for lunch.”
Good-bye Nobu.
We gave up on the sunglasses and agreed that it would be a good idea to go for cake. “Where should we go?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “This is your town.”
And then it came to me. I started jumping up and down. “The Little Cupcake Shop,” I said. We crossed down into Soho and I led him to Prince and Elizabeth. We snagged a table by the window and each got a gigantic slice of cake. When he dug into his, the biggest smile spread over his face.
“This is the happiest I’ve seen you all day,” I said.
“Yeah, it seems like all these places want New York experience, but if you can’t get hired, you can’t get New York experience.”
“The perpetual Catch-22,” I said. Maybe that was why he seemed off all day. I thought it might have been me. Sometimes it's exhausting being so self-involved.
He reached out and touched me on the arm briefly.
His funny mood had unsettled me and, whether or not I was suffering from codependence, I needed reassurance. I wanted us to be alone somewhere, so I asked if he wanted to go watch a movie at my place. Zoe and I had it worked out that I’d text her if I was going back to the apartment and she’d stay away.
At my place, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He picked me up to take me to the bed. “You’re so good at that,” I said.
We rolled around for a while, losing articles of clothing, and I said, “I feel like a Calvin Klein ad.”
Things started to go a little farther than I wanted them to and I got nervous, and told him so, which only served to make him nervous. Plus, Zoe had been texting and calling, which certainly hadn’t helped to relax things, so I checked her messages in which she said she’d go get something to eat and stay out until she heard from me.
“Well, you’re hungry, too, why don’t we go eat with her?” #120 said.
I was alarmed. Did he not want to be alone with me anymore? It felt wrong somehow. Like we needed to talk about our nervousness and maybe even what, exactly, we were doing here.
Zoe came back and we went for Mexican. She had #120 and I sit across the table from each other so we could see each other, but it was a big table, so it only increased the chasm growing between us. I thought he seemed jumpy but wasn’t sure. Then he started talking about Zoe and he moving in together. He’d suggested it before and Jo had let it drop, but he brought it up again.
“That means that if you and I don’t work out,” he said, looking at me, “we’ll have to be friends.”
“Oh, you two will work out,” Zoe said. “Don’t be daft.”
I was fear-stricken. As soon as Zoe went to the bathroom, I bent my finger at him to beckon him closer. He leaned in as much as he could across the table. “Just for the record, I’d like this to work out,” I said.
“You didn’t like that at all,” he said.
I shook my head.
“OK, then we’ll work on it,” he said.
“We’re too far away,” I said and got up and sat next to him, kissing him. I still didn’t feel settled. He said he had to go home right after dinner. “To poop,” he said, because he didn’t like doing it in public and he didn’t want to do it at my place.
Outside, Zoe walked ahead and we kissed good-bye. I caught up to her and said, “Wasn’t he acting funny?”
“No, not at all. I actually like him even more. I think he’s just lovely,” she said.
“He seemed so distant,” I said.
“I didn’t think so at all,” she said.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Maybe I was just projecting. Because I’m currently a basketcase.”
Back at my place, since things had gone a bit off in the bedroom, Zoe suggested I text him.
I wrote: “I feel a bit weird about earlier. Do you? I think we need to get back in the sack as soon as possible. We were both nervous.”
He wrote back immediately: “Asap!”
Signs of Hope: He said, "We'll work on it."
Red Flags: Was it was “my town” only when it was convenient for him to not make plans? Would Nobu ever happen? Was the distance I felt after our Saturday roll in the hay real or imagined?
Red Flags: Was it was “my town” only when it was convenient for him to not make plans? Would Nobu ever happen? Was the distance I felt after our Saturday roll in the hay real or imagined?
Diagnosis: For him: Is he available?
For me: Am I just an insecure mess?
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