See Sweet Virginia, The First Date, Just Desserts, To Nobu or Not to Nobu, The Duel and The 36-Hour Freakout for the background on this one.
Encounter #6: On Friday morning, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to lunch. Tired of all the texting, I just called him. He arrived an hour later and texted me from The Bean. Zoe and I spritzed the scarf that he'd lent me two days before with my perfume--Sexy 212. I met him downstairs and handed it back to him. He didn't seem to notice the new scent. "Let's go to Momofuku," he said. He knew the owner somehow from Virginia. “It’s funny how I seem to know a lot of famous people,” he said.
Yes, funny that.
Momofuku didn’t open until noon, so we killed time renewing our search for his Cecil B. Demille sunglasses. We stumbled upon an antique glasses shop called Fanny’s and went in. “These are them,” #120 said, putting on some tortoise shell frames and looking at me. The place had everything. I tried on a pair tof sexy librarian frames and #120 said, “That’s hot.”
By the time we got to Momofuku at 12:03 p.m., we weren’t even the first inside. We sat at the bar and ordered. I looked at him. “What?” he asked. I’d been waiting to say something all morning. I’d decided to take Nora’s advice and talk to him—clear the air—for my own sake if not his.
“I feel bad. I think I may have confused you. When I said I wanted to take things slower, I didn’t mean we should see each other less,” I said.
“I’ve been busy,” he said, laughing.
“I know, I know. It’s fine. I’m just making sure. I also didn’t mean that we should be less physical with each other.”
“Are you saying you want me to touch you more?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
He turned red and started laughing.
“You’re turning red,” I said, kissing him on the cheek.
“It’s funny,” he said.
We ate about 5,000 calories worth of really good pig fat in various forms and then walked all over the city. He wanted to buy shoes, so we went uptown. He wanted to look at scooters, so we went back downtown. I was feeling a bit lost in the shuffle.
We walked by the Merchant House Museum, a museum I’d always wanted to go into, so we went inside. He didn’t want to pay for it, but I told him I could get us in free. It was a self-tour and, because I asked him to, he started reading the history aloud.
Maybe I just have a constant need for physical affirmation to show me that everything is OK, but I wanted us to be more affectionate as we walked around the museum—really, I wanted us to be more affectionate all day. I rested my head on his shoulder. He didn’t respond and, after a few minutes, walked away to look at something else.
Afterward, he said he had to go meet a friend, so he walked me home. We stood talking outside of my building. A friend of his texted him and he texted him back with messages that were intentionally difficult. I wasn’t impressed.
"What I like to do is when people text me, I just call them," he said.
"I did that with you this morning," I said.
"I know. When you called, I thought, 'Oh. She does that, too.'"
Sometimes it's nice to beat them at their own game, especially when you don't know you're doing it.
“We’re going swing dancing tomorrow night, so I was going to invite you if you were free,” I said. But he was working the next day, all day.
“Do you know how to swing dance?” I asked.
“I’m from the South,” he said. “We have cotillion.”
Even though the little voice in my head wasn’t entirely happy with the day, he said he knew how to dance, so I was impressed all over again. It doesn't take much.
Signs of Hope: The talk at Momofuku seemed to go well-ish.
Red Flags: The whole day was mostly about him. We did go to the museum, but that was only because I could get us in free. I know I could have insisted on doing some of my own errands, but errands aren;t necessarily my idea of fun. A question from him like “Is there anything you’d like to do?” would have been nice.
Turning Point: I did feel a little better after the talk at Momofuku. At least I was practicing my communication skills even if he wasn't.
Diagnosis: For him: He’s available for doing his errands and random museum visits.
For me: Am I just needy? Or is he not what I want—no, what I deserve.
“We’re going swing dancing tomorrow night, so I was going to invite you if you were free,” I said. But he was working the next day, all day.
“Do you know how to swing dance?” I asked.
“I’m from the South,” he said. “We have cotillion.”
Even though the little voice in my head wasn’t entirely happy with the day, he said he knew how to dance, so I was impressed all over again. It doesn't take much.
Signs of Hope: The talk at Momofuku seemed to go well-ish.
Red Flags: The whole day was mostly about him. We did go to the museum, but that was only because I could get us in free. I know I could have insisted on doing some of my own errands, but errands aren;t necessarily my idea of fun. A question from him like “Is there anything you’d like to do?” would have been nice.
Turning Point: I did feel a little better after the talk at Momofuku. At least I was practicing my communication skills even if he wasn't.
Diagnosis: For him: He’s available for doing his errands and random museum visits.
For me: Am I just needy? Or is he not what I want—no, what I deserve.
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