Friday, December 21, 2012

Mr. Unavailable #178: The Knife Incident


See Trigger Man-Boy for the background on this one.

Although things looked promising with #185, I didn’t want to entirely rule out #178. One Friday night just before Christmas, with #185 having gone off on a two-week cross-country excursion to visit family, I headed to Williamsburg with Kevin for a gathering of like-minded Brooklynites.

Inside, I zeroed in on #178 sitting at a table behind me. Casually turning in his direction as if surveying the room, I momentarily stepped back as I laid eyes on him, in mock surprise to see him. I briefly introduced him to “my friend Kevin” and then the two of us discussed holiday vacation plans.

“I’m going home to Massachusetts to see my mom’s family for five days,” he said, “although now I wish I weren’t going for so long. But I spent five days over Thanksgiving with my dad, so now…”

“Oh, equal time,” I said. “Of course.” Seeing as I hadn’t made much of an effort to see my parents during the holidays in eight years, his reluctance to go was more than forgivable.

“What are you doing?” he asked. Maybe it was the crowd of people around us, but lurking somewhere inside him seemed to be the nerves of a Chihuahua. His eyes darted around and he couldn’t fully hold still. Maybe he was cold. Or maybe I was making him nervous. Again, entirely forgivable.

“I’m staying here,” I said with a tint of shame.

“That’s great. I wish I was doing that,” he said.

In group formation, we walked the several blocks to Action Burger. All the while, #178 and I maintained spitting distance. Filing into the shop, he looked a little lost in the crowd. I pulled a chair over so he could sit by me. I felt a bit like I was overcompensating for his lack. I tried to engage him in conversation about the décor, which consisted entirely of comic-book paraphernalia. “Were you a comic book guy?” I asked.

In our large, exuberant group, he became smaller and smaller, shrinking before my eyes. It took work to keep him engaged. At one point, a girl who was wedged in a corner seat called to him, “Hey [#178], can you get me a knife?”

#178 got up and, looking puzzled, spun around and walked toward the counter where they were taking orders. He glanced around the immediate vicinity, turned back around, came back, sat down and said, “I don’t know where they have them. They might have them behind the counter or something.”

Another guy in our group got up and the girl called, “Hey, can you get me a knife?”

“You got it.” He walked straight up to the counter and asked, “Hey, can I get a knife?” Moments later, over the head of #178, he passed the girl a clean white plastic knife.

Who knew that one little plastic knife could entirely decimate a crush? But it did. A little shy is fine, but for me—for what I want—this was unforgivable. I stopped making an effort. I actually felt some relief. After dinner, walking out the double doors with Kevin, I said, “Did you see…the thing with the knife.”

“Yeah,” he said, frowning in active commiseration.

“Am I overreacting?”

“No,” he said. “Not. At. All.”

Unlike previous times, I didn’t make any special attempt to say good night to #178. I waved toward him and the other remnants of the group standing on the corner, “See you later. Have a good night. Happy holidays.” And then I disappeared with Kevin down into the subway to catch the L train home.

Signs of Hope: There was definite interest. On both sides.

Red Flags: There was just too much to forgive.

Turning Point: The knife incident was unforgivable.

Diagnosis: He may be available, but he’s not what I’m looking for.

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